2007-10-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

Job's I've had:
Nametag Maker/Engraver
Carpet Installer
Test Services Administrator
Laundry Truck Driver
Canoe Pusher
Substitute Teacher
Bookstore Cashier (BYUH baby!)

Places I've lived:
Yucaipa
Virginia
Provo
Laie

Food I love:
Haliewa Eats (thai)
Red Lobster
Chili's
El Azteca or Betos or Cucas

Websites I visit:
Blogger
Amazon.com

Places I'd rather be:
China
Greece
Italy
Morocco
Afganistan
Iraq...

Movies I watch:
Many, many...

TV Shows I LOVE:
Planet Earth
Blue Planet
The Office
Arrested Development
Family Guy
Sea Lab
etc

2007-09-02T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Here's a new post. I had to update everything to a google account or something in order for anything to work around here. Things are going great around here. I started observing and student teaching at King Intermediate school. The kids are retarded but they are pretty funny. Melissa only has one year left and then we will be running back to the mainland (after we can find a way to ship all of our crap back). Gad bless you all!

2007-04-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Well... I haven't written for a while. I have been spending any of the time that I would usually spend on my blog with the photo album. But things are going good here in Hawaii. It looks like we are going to be moving into a new place in about 3 weeks. It looks to be a 1 bedroom apartment with a full kitchen and bath for about $300 less than we have been paying for the pieve of crap that we are living in now. That will be a welcome improvement to our life.

As you can tell from our photo album we are getting into photography now. I am trying to talk Melissa into doing weddings and portraits and so far we are working towards that. The only problem with the whole thing is that as you begin to learn more and more about it that things that you desire get more expensive. So we may have to just stick with what we got until we become rich folk.

Melissa I excited to almost be done with the semester and I am excited to almost be starting school again. After subbing for this last little while I am excited to have my own class were I can comfortably be assured that if they are crying it is directly my fault and not the fault of some unknown factor (honestly, do you remember crying all the time in elementary school?).

That is all...

2006-08-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

I have made a new photo album for everyone to view what is going on with my life...

the address is:

www.kaymac.net/mattandmelissa

I am going to work on getting some sort of comment system going for each of the albums somehow... we shall see!

2006-05-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

Lots of things have happened to me in the last few months. First and foremost, I got engaged... and for all of you who are wondering... yes, to a girl. She is an amazing girl, extremely funny, beautiful, talented, etc. It happened:

We went up on a hike to Stewart Falls, it's a hike that we had done before, but I had planned it all out. We got everything necessary for a picnic lunch and everything (I had taken the day off work). Once we got there, there was a lot of snow still near the falls and there really wasn't an adequate place to have it. However, I saw a little ledge right to the side of the waterfall that I thought would be nice and we would just have to do a little climb to get to it. I didn't know at the time that Melissa is extremely afraid of heights, I know she had mentioned it before but I didn't really take into account that it was a serious thing. Anyways, I talked her into getting up there by telling her that it would be worth it. Once we got up there, and Melissa came out of shock, I proposed to her. Getting down proved to be very difficult because we couldn't go down the same way we came up. I tried to find an easier way down but it simply put us into very, very, very thick little willow tree. The willow trees and us pretty much had to exchange blows in order for us to get through. By the time that we finally got down, I had to apologize and ask her again if she would marry me. And she said... yes.

So we are getting married on August 11th. Invitation pictures have been taken and pretty much everything is planned. It is going to be wonderful.

In addition to the whole marriage thing... I am now an official graduate. My family all got to come up and see me walk and pose in my little roby-thingy. I really just wanted to wear a speedo underneith my robe but I hear that the school and church leadership really frown on that. Anyways, I finally paid off my parking ticket and now I should recieve a piece of paper in the mail. Yeah.

Right now I am just working, laying carpet for BYU. I will be leaving around August to get married, honeymoon, and then honeymoon some more by moving to Hawaii. That is all.

2006-03-10T18:44:00.001-08:00

For some reason I feel like it is required for me to post a picture everytime that I post. However, I don't really feel like going through the hastle this time. I figure there are now enough pictures of myself floating around in this wild, wild world web-thingy to warrent me not having to post on this one occasion.

This last weekend was really fun. I flew down on Friday night for a quick weekend with the family. Mostly for the chance to see my new niece Lia. She is very cute. However skeptical I was before, I now whole-heartedly agree and give my consent for Billy and Katie to continue breeding (Just don't abuse it!). My Aunt and Uncle and Cousin also flew in from abroad and we had a right-good party going on. I flew back Monday morning just in time to not go to my classes that day and go home from work early.

The only down-side to my trip home is that I am now sick. I have been taking large quantities of DayQuil during the day, and NiteQuil during the... well... the nite. I think that things are looking up as far as my immunal capabilities are concerned.

I am looking forward to graduating this April. I have horrible "senioritise." However, I feel that if I can just keep on at this pace I am at right now I will pass all of my classes with little difficulty. And then I will have that glorious piece of paper that I have strived so hard for these last 20 years.

Right now the plan is work up here during the summer. I am going to try and get my carpet job again, if I can work with Jared D. and maybe Taylor... cause that would be really funny most of the time. Plus, I could make pretty good money for not doing very much, and the days go by fast. And then I am going to move out to Laie, Hawaii. There I will attempt to become a substiture teacher or something (130 bucks a day). Or, maybe I will just work at the Subway, or maybe the PCC.

2006-01-31T20:46:00.000-08:00

This is a nice picture that Melissa likes of us. I was experimenting with a new image uploading option... Thanks you... for your time.

2006-01-22T14:34:00.000-08:00

There once was a dream called snow. This last week it has been rather cold and snowy. The coldness has been propogated by the sudden death of our heating. Baby it's cold outside (and inside).

We have, however, made good use of the snow. We have designed and created a monument to our superior culture on our front lawn. I have provided a picture below. Joint credit goes to our entire apartment with help from Melissa and Chiara. But... I must take the credit for recieving the inspiration for the monumental steps (also instrumental in the building process) and the lion. In conclusion, the neighborhood is very impressed and many pictures have been taken. Ironically, the Daily Universe (BYU's Newspaper) featured a snowman built on campus on their front page. I don't even know if you could call it a snowman, 3 balls with some sticks coming out it. Ours looks like Zeus, God of Olympus, in comparison. Lets just say that if good was gonna make a snowman, he would have made one that looks close to ours... obviously better, but similar.

In other news, Melissa got a job. I know it's amazing. She got hired on at US Bank. Full-time, benefits, more money than I've ever gotten. It just goes to prove that this whole school thing isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

I start work again tomorrow. It is sure to be a joy.

I am still awaiting news of the expected birth of my first neice... that should be happening soon.

I took the Physical Science 100 Challenge Exam so that I wouldn't have to take the class. I got a 58. I needed a 60 to pass. That really pissed me off. But I think that I am going to just take the final and see what I can get out of it.

2006-01-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

One of my teachers handed this out last semester and I thought that it was pretty funny:

Math for 2005

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $3.58. The counter girl took my $4.00 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking a the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s.

Teaching Math in 1955:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1965:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, of $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1975:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1985:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underling the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1995:
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math in 2005:
Un maderero vende un camion de madera de construccion para $100. El coste de produccion es $80. Cuantas tortillas puede el comprar?

2005-12-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

BYU's newspaper, The Daily Universe, is often an interesting read... especially the editorials. The other day I was reading with a couple of friends and came across a particularly special and inspiring article entitled "Bush Like Captain Moroni":

Bush like Captain Moroni

One might think no one on the editorial board reads the Book of Mormon very often by what was said in your recent editorial regarding protesting the Iraq war on BYU campus. From the remarks made by President Bush, the reason we are in Iraq is to stop the same type of people and things Captain Moroni covenanted to stop.

The President said, “These people cannot stand free societies, they have no regard for the human condition, they’ll kill women and children at the drop of a hat; all aimed at frightening the American people and trying to get us to withdraw … The lessons of Sept. 11 are lessons this country will never forget … In the long run, a democracy will help eradicate the conditions that allow these people to find any kind of support.”

Obviously, the church opposes people like the Gadianton robbers, of which Bin Laden is a modern day copy. Saying people protesting the war on BYU campus was “somewhat refreshing” and they made good use of their time, is like Captain Moroni saying the king men’s actions were “somewhat refreshing” and they made good use of their time.

Seth Marsing
Price, UT

This editorial has very much inspired me to support the war and our governments policies. It has opened various discussions... most especially because of our charge to read the Book of Mormon this year. My friend Jack has further Seth's analogy by comparing Christ's decent to the Nephites in 3rd Nephi to our beloved vice-president Dick Chaney. Although I see many similarities... I must disagree. I see Jesus's actions corresponding more to that of Karl Rove. I may be wrong... but how can I fight how I feel.

2005-11-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

Howdy y'all, thought that I would write and re-re-break the news that the people at FOX are freaking idiots. I can't believe that they are getting rid of Arrested Development. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them! I only say this because currently my roomate and I are going through all of them from the begining and they seriously contain some of the best writing ever.

Anyways. I have "Post-Graduation Plan #7." Codename: Ethiopia. Yup, I'm looking into going to Ethiopia on a internship to have all sorts of little black children hang all over me. One of the main reasons for this is that Ethiopia is right north of Kenya, where all the safaris are (and recent pirate attacks of cruise ships). Let's face it, one of my life goals is to ride a freakin' elephant (ok, perhaps I should take the "freakin'" out of that last sentence because that could be akward, and, not to mention, dangerous) or to chase after a giraff, in african garb, wearing a spear.

I have recently decided that I need to be more cultured, so I have enlisted the help of a couple of people to let me borrow some books. I just finished "Franny and Zooey" and am currently reading "Catcher in the the Rye," both by J.D. Salinger. And I am almost done with a book called "The Truth, with jokes" by Al Franken.

Bless my soul... Here is a picture of all of us from our last trip to my roomate Dave's cabin. And another picture that I thought was really funny and am going to put on a shirt.

2005-10-30T12:52:00.000-08:00

Hello all... I haven't posted for about a month now... so I thought that it might be time for me to get on and update the the mass readers of my Blog as to what is going on in my life:

Last weekend we again went up to my roomate Dave's cabin and ran around in the wilderness. It was pretty fun. This time he brought up his .45 magnum and we got to shoot it around. Along with that we had about 700 .22 rounds. We shot cans, bottles, and all sorts of other things. We actually shot down a tree. We made a large fire and cooked lots of weiners.

So... there is this girl that I have started hanging around a lot. She is really nice. There is a picture of here from a distance on a bridge. Her name is Melissa. She is from Oregon and really likes trees. I don't know how much she appreciated us shooting down trees up at the cabin... Actually, I just like to make fun of her being a pot-smoking tree-hugger because of the whole Oregon thing... although she is a little... but... yeah...

I have successfully won a free season pass to Park City Mountain Resort but being a student season pass rep here on the BYU campus. I went up the other day and got that all figured out. It has been raining down here for the last couple of days and hopefully it will be dumping lots and lots of snow in preparation for the season. I'm thinking that this might be my last year here in Provo, so I might as well make the best of the season... hurting myself my be an obligation that I have to myself.

Speaking of which, I just appplied for graduation the other day. It appears that everything is in order for me to walk this upcoming April. I have successfully concluded registration, this winter, for all of my remaining classes (4 of them; 3 history and physical science 100). I don't know what I am going to do when I finally get around to graduating... I keep thinking Hawaii... cause it's really nice there. But then I ahve been thinking about this Taiwan teaching thing and traveling for a little while. Then there is that whole: get a job and make a life for myself thing that everyone is so adament about. I guess I'll figure it out later...

The Colbert Report has been on for 2 weeks now following the Daily Show with John Stewart on Comedy Central. Our apartment enjoys watching both of them 4 nights a week. Very funny and I highly recommend the whole thing.

God bless us, everyone...

2005-09-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well... the start of another semester. With each passing day I come more to the realization that I really just want to graduate. I think that the so-called "senioritise" may be in full swing. I started at my old job this last Monday. It is pretty fun. I am working every day from 3:30ish to 7ish. It's pretty nice and lately I have been looking forward to going to work. Although, I enjoy my Mondays,, Wednesdays, and Fridays the most because I know most of the girls on that shift and have developed affinities towards them.

School is going to be ok. Right now we are in to week number 3 and everything seems pretty common place. I'm actually suprised at how easy it is. I have 4 history classes right now and I thought for sure that I was going to be raped and killed by my schedule, but everything is looking fine.

I have become an representative for Park City Mountain Resort. Basically, I am going to try to sell 10 season passes with these coupons that I've gotten, I and if I do that I get a free pass for myself. Am not over ambitious with it, but I think that I should be able to get pretty close... I know people who know people.... and so on.

I was invited by one of my friends to go to a Animal Rights BBQ by the BYU campus republicans. I thought that it would be a funny idea to show up and see what it was all about. I was sitting there and the only things I could think about were funny things that I could do to make everyone there lynch me... I almost thought about calling Reid to see if he had any good ideas.

Over labor day weekend we went up to my roomate, Dave's, cabin near Manti and ran around. I have posted some pictures as to what that is all about. We shot some 22s, had a bon fire, cooked some weiners, played all sorts of games doing all sorts of ridiculous woods-like things. Dave should really grow out a big beard and just move up there, making bombs, with only beef jerky and dreams to sustain him.

2005-08-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

Things have been going pretty normal around Provo. I have been working at the laundry driving my little-big truck around the four corners of christiandom. Wednesday is my last day however as I have decided to go home to beautiful southern California for a short duration before the Fall. I have a rigorous schedule coming up, 4 history classes and a religion class. Ironically I am going to be working more during the school year than I have been this summer, but, what can you do?

We had large apartment checks yesterday do I thought that I would take the time to take a couple of pictures of the place that I live. We like it-- and besides-- it's a place to hang my hat. Unfortunately, during our extreme cleansing i happened to get many chemicals on my hands and they are now in the process of falling off. Literally, they have been continuously peeling. I fear that when I finally make it to California in a few days all that will be left of my beautiful, talented hands will be a bloody nub.

I also had the largest breakthrough ever the other day, I was taking a watermelon out to throwaway and afterwards I saw the tiki torches that we have resently purchased outside our house. It came to me like a flash of wisdom, Watermelon Carving! So I went to the store and bought a watermelon and cut out the top like a pumpkin. Then I commenced to eat almost 2/3 of it before I felt like I was going to pass out. The remains I passed around for my compatriots.
Here is a picture... Anyways, I have fitted him with a candlestick and we are going to display him to the world some nightfall.>

2005-07-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

So I have returned to Utah from my triumphant Maui vacation. I decided that it would probably be in my best interest to someday live somewhere in Hawaii. Everyone that I tell that to says that I would probably get sick of it in a couple of months... I disagree... maybe in a couple of years I would get sick of it, but it sure would be worth it.

I'm just working up here in Provo. Yesterday was 104 degrees and I was driving around without air conditioning all day. Wonderful... Supposedly it is unseasonably hot...

Anyways, that is what I got going, nothing much else. I've attached some pictures so be sure to take a gander at them. God bless you!

2005-06-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

So... my life has been rather crazy as of late. I am just now reemerging into society. This girl that I was dating just went on a mission this last Wednesday. It was rather depressing to say the least, but I'm sure that I will survive.

We went up and had a shin-dig up at this nice time-share condo in Park City. There were like 5 hot tubs running into each other. This nice pool. It was right next to Park City Ski Resort and right by the shopping outlet stores. Boy howdy was it fun. As you can tell from the pictures... be aware that we are all completely sober in these... I can't imagine what would happen if alcohol was added to the mix.

2005-05-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

At Ni-Yang Inn

A traveler's sadness,
how is it deepened?
By seeing off
an old friend at dusk.

At the tumbledown inn,
autumn fireflies are out;
in the empty town,
a cold rain comes.

The sun sets
in a seasonal white dew;
tree shadows sweep
the green moss.

As I sit alone,
my mood after parting darkness;
the light of my single lamp
is weak.

- Chia Tao

2005-04-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

I've successfully started spring semester. Boy howdy is it boring. I also started my new job as a driver for laundry. It is pretty cool. All I do is drive around all day and listen to the radio... it's really not a bad life at all.

Some of the girls in my ward wanted to go camping as a last sorta "shindig" with some of my good friends from fall, we went camping down in Zion's. It was amazing and wonderfully exciting. Here are some pictures.

2005-04-15T00:04:00.000-07:00

I was trying to explain to this girl tonight why I wont ask a girl out unless I know for sure that she is at least a little bit interested and that she will say yes... I explained that it was because I don't want to be "one of those guys..." I don't think that she quite understood this, so I commenced to explain:

I'm pretty good friends with a bunch of girls who are completely confident acting usual around me and do not feel abashed at asking me questions. Some of them get asked out quite often. Anyways, I have been around several times that a girl has gotten off the phone with some boy that she barely knows who has asked her out... of course, because there is some ridiculous "mormon theory" that says that a girl has to say yes to at least one date, she says yes... but the minute that she gets off the phone she commences complaining or ploting about how she wants to get out of it. Most likely she still feels an strong sense of confidence and self-esteem at being so highly desired, yet also feels deep loathing for the boy that put her into this situation.

Now, I may be wrong. But I don't believe that this guy has a chance to begin with. The girl has already made up in her mind that it's "just not going to work." No matter how smooth he is, it wont work. This is because: No matter what a boy that she likes does, it is cute, or soooo nice. But whatever a boy that she doesn't like does, it's cheesy or just anoying.

Anyways, I don't want to be "one of those guys." I don't want to be on the other side of the phone of some girl who is just trying to fulfil her mother's wish to "always say yes to one date." In case you haven't noticed I think that the "one date" practice is ridiculous.

My next point. My bishop at the beginning of this semester tried to commit me to date at least once a week. Of course, I told him no. I figured that it would be better not to accept a commitment from the bishop then to accept one and then not keep it. But anyways, it has come to me in various forms that I should boys should ask girls out in the ward because some of them don't get asked out that often and it makes them feel better about themselves. Of course, I think this is ridiculous. Unless I am interested in them, the date would just be lame and akward. I don't want to be selfish about the whole think (well... maybe I do...) but what exactly would I get out of this? I mean, the girl get to do something for free, eat for free, gets a booster shot of self-esteem to last her till the next passing victim that she can leech upon. What is it exactly that I am looking forward to here? And wouldn't it just be leading the girl on?

Lets face it, with most people I can tell pretty much off the bat what kind of person they are. I accept the fact that I am most probably wrong in almost all of these flash judgments, but that is beside the point. I make these judgments with guys and girls. I think that I have created these different categories in my mind cause I'm pretty sure that almost all people fit into 6 or 7 different categories (maybe I will discuss this later). I just categorize these people. Some of these categories are "Do not touch," "Datables," "Like me," etc. I am very unlikely to change my minde about someone. This wrong, I know. Yada yada yada... but it happens.

But anyways, I don't want to be a "shmuck." Sometimes I look at guys and I'm like, "If I ever do any thing (or think like) that, someone please shoot me in the face." These guys that will just walk up to a random girl and ask her out. These weird kids that get up on the "soap box" and talk about shear nonsense. People stuck in the middle ages, wearing cloaks and swords (don't get me wrong, I like the middle-ages, but there is a time and a place for everything). I really just don't want to be "one of those guys."

2005-04-08T16:13:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished writing my last paper for the semester. That will be nice. It is about the causes and effects of the 1967 Six-Day War. After that, all that I have is 3 finals and I am done... until I start school in the spring. It will be amazing.

I have started a job search. I went and applied for a new job at the library as a research assistant. I'm hoping that I can pick up one of those jobs for the summer.

No more girl for me. I am once again free to roam the 7 seas... and whatnot.

I don't know what else to write... I got my first sunburn of the season the other day. I was sitting outside by the pool reading and am now a little bit rosey looking. I can't wait until it gets really warm here... or until I go to Hawaii in a little bit. It will be awsome. Amen.

2005-03-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

I'm fairly excited because I have officially finished and printed out my Vietnam research paper. Together with teh cover page and the work cited page it is like 16 or 17 pages long. I think that is probably tthe longest that I have ever written by myself. I am going to turn it in early on Monday... also, I think this is a first... turning a final paper in early. But never fear, I have begun researching for my next paper... the practice of Self-Immolation of Buddhist monks. Focusing primarily on those done in protest during the 1963 Buddhist Crisis in S. Vietnam.

Supposedly, in the Lotus Sutra there is talk of ones own body being as incense asending forever into the clouds of something such as that. I don't really know. I was hoping to be able to get this one done so that I have nothing left except for tests during finals week. I nice goal... but I don't know how likely that is going to be.

Refering to my earlier post... my 54% turned into an 85%, slightly above the class average. I am the man!

I went to play basketball today... I was ripping it up, but then I came down on someones foot and sprained my ankle really bad... so now I am in the process of limping around. It's not the worst that I have ever done... but reast assured that it will probably suck tomorrow when I wake up.

I've kinda started dating this one girl. We have gone out a couple of times. Can you imagine that... me going on a date? Weird huh? Her name is Jenn, she's a 22 year old Neural Science major from Portland. She just applied to Grad school here and maybe a couple of other places. That's all I have to say about that. Amen.

2005-02-16T15:31:00.000-08:00

I had my first real mid-term yesterday, and boy howdy did it kill me. I have been studying really hard for this test and I still pretty much failed it (the multiple choice). However, I did really well on the writter portion which makes up 50% of the test. We had to write about the 2nd Aliyah and the Wahabiya movement started by Muhammad ibn Abd al-Wahhab, so... now you understand why I did so crappy on the multiple choice, I can only contemplate so many Muhammads before I explode. But, with the curve i might pull out a "B." Be can pray... so let it be... amen.

2005-02-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to think of something profound to say.... Nothing is really coming to me.

Life is going normally, I do things... My 23rd Birthday is tomorrow and I will celebrate it by going to school, most likely taking a nap, and then going to work. I think I'm beginning to lose my touch in my old age.

Work is going good... I don't really do much but I get to talk to a bunch of people, make all sorts of absurd comments, and sit around and draw. I've decided that if any one gets caught for cheating at the testing center, they deserve to get kicked out of school. Because honestly, I don't pay attention at all. They would have to be so ridiculously obvious for me to catch them it would be just plain silly. Although, I'm sure there are those of us at teh testing center who take our jobs very seriously... luckily just not on my shift.

School is doing great, I have a couple of tests coming up in the next couple of weeks. I think that I will do alright, all things considered. I have named this Semester Codename: 4.0
That means that I am, most likely going to have to study a little bit. It's a tough life that I live. I just hate the first test of the semester, cause you never know what to expect. Anyways... this is my life...

2005-01-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a week or so since my last post... School is continuing to go pretty good. I am keeping up with, or am even ahead of the reading in some of the classes that I am taking. It is pretty cool to be taking a couple of classes that I am actually interested in.

I had my first day of work at my new job yesterday. It looks like it will be pretty cool. I already get along with everyone that works there and it looks as though it will be a pretty chill environment to work in most of the time. It's really easy... so I guess I can't really complain about making crappy wages. But it looks like it will go ok, and it will give me a little bit of income.

I kinda started dating a new girl in my ward about a week ago (let me tell you, it is going to be really funny when the other one finds out about it). But she said last night that she wanted "to slow things down a bit." I don't know exactly what that means... so my thoughts are that I am not going to do anything whatsosever, and if she calls or comes over, I'll be cool with it. Does that seem like a good idea? Changing my role from proactive to reactive? Anyways... I guess it's not really a big deal, 'cause we've only been hanging out for like a week.

I really don't think that there is anything else going on... except for a big tidal wave that killed a bunch of people. Amen...

2005-01-08T11:38:00.000-08:00

Well... the new semester has started and everything seems to be turning out alright. We have spent the last couple of days reorganizing our apartment. We rearranged all of the furnature in our living room and I feel that it gives us a more spacial (sp?), open look. I like it. I've hooked up surround sound (i.e. the system thing that Mom and Dad gave me) to our entertainment unit in the back room so now we can play x-box in style (whenever we play it). It is pretty sweet.

However due to the classes that I am taking, I don't know if I will have a lot of time to be doing video games anymore. I'm taking 4 history classes: American History to 1890, American Involvement in Vietnam 1945 - 1975, Middle-Eastern History from ~1890 - Present, and Asian Religion and Thought (focusing on Buddhism). I'm sure that I could get by this semester like I have in previous semesters, soing the absolute minimum required workload, but I am actually interested in a most of the classes that I am taking and I want to learn. Weird huh?

My Vietnam and Buddhism class have 9 books a piece. But I have sat down and started reading some of them and they are actually pretty interesting. I have learned that the Vietnam era was a very messed up one. The way that he works that class is cool, we have one general text book, and then we have, pretty much, 8 contradictory books that we read from different points of view. One is from an officer in the Viet Cong, another is from the Anti-war movement, another from a soldier in Vietnam, etc.

I am recieving training for my new job this next Thursday, and I will begin working this next friday. It will be good to get a little bit of income coming in so that I can maintain my checking account rather than have it slowly trickle and spiral downward.

Bush recently announced that there are now 10,252 casualties in Iraq, an 53% of those have serious injuries that have rendered them unable to return to duty (i.e. missing leg). I have not yet discovered any new thoughts or feelings about the war or anything, but with my new classes, I've learned that the Iraq is going to have democracy whether the people want it or not.

2005-01-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

Last year at this time I made some New Years resolutions. I think that i did fairly well in keeping all of them and everything. I thought that I would do a similar thing this year, and likewise write them down here on my precious little blog:

1. I would like to continue my previous years goal of eatting $6 burgers at Carl's Jr. They are very good. I would like to ammend the goal however, by making a majority of those the Guacamole Burger (because ther are good).

2. I am going to work on developing a 2 year plan for my immediate future regarding myself educationally, professionally, and locationally.

3. I am going to develope passion about one are of my life. I am not sure what area that might be, but I think that it would be good for me to find something to be passionate about.

Anyways, those are my new goals for 2005. Hopefully this will be a better year. I am back up at school. I just bought all of my books (~ $300). I am hoping that I will be able to return some of them...

2004-12-15T23:07:00.000-08:00

I finished my last final tonight. I didn't think that I was going to do that well on it but by the time that I was finished taking it, I had completely destroyed the test and left it whimpering in a gutter. It was pleading for me to have mercy with it, to end the madness. But justice, as always, prevailed.

I think that I did alright this semester, most likely A's and B's. I don't think that I recieved any C's this semester, so I guess that my GPA wont be too screwed up.

I am going home tomorrow for the long haul. An entire 2+ week paid vacation to the fabulous Yucaipa, California. My brother Billy is getting married to my future sister in 2 day and that is really exciting. My Mom told me that I was supposed to go and buy a new white shirt but I really didn't get around to it. I figure that I will do that later, along with ALL of my Christmas shopping that I have yet to do. Ridiculous...

I did get a job today though. I start next semester working nights at the testing center. I figured... "heck... why not?" Besides, I need to save up some money for some of the plans that I hope I still have by the time that summer rolls around. But with my dynamic goals and life plan, who really knows where I will be in 3 weeks, let alone an entire semester.

I started dating this girl a couple weeks ago, but I broke up with her the other day. I didn't really know if I needed to break up with her, considering I didn't really know if we were together or anything, but whatever. I think that it was the first time that I had ever broken up with someone. It was kinda hard... you never really know what to say or anything. It took me forever to come up with something. Next time I will do a lot better, I will do it a lot more efficiently. I did like it however; I'm thinking about getting a girlfriend for the sole purpose of breaking up with her... it is rather... how shall I say... empowering. Maybe that's wrong... who really knows...

2004-12-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

Well... it looks like the semester is coming to a close. I am starting to get everything tied together before everything ends and I am once again, metaphorically, left naked outside in the rain, curled up in the fetal position, striving for warmth.

This Monday a 21 page paper on the "Gypsies" (or the Ramoni as they prefer to be called) is due in one of my classes. They are supposed to have originated from the Punjab regions of India. The next day, Tuesday, I have a 12 page paper due on Global Warming. And then I have finals and what not. I have a lot of reading to do for History. Anyways, I think that I will pull out of this semester without screwing up my GPA too much... hopefully anyways.

Besides that, there is not a whole bunch going on around here. I tried the new Mountain Bacon Cheeseburger that they have at Wendys. It was pretty good. Also, the 99 cent menu has really been tickling my fancy... oh that fancy tickle.

Almost 1300 dead and almost 10,000 wounded in Iraq, and the US just committed more troops. If this war continues for as long as Vietnam did, we might have an Iraqi War Memorial Wall as big as the Vietnam one in D.C. (a little over 100 a month using the last 4 months).

2004-11-19T17:27:00.000-08:00

Interesting with the changes in the U.S. Governement, that the only person who was against the war is now resigning... and the Bush administration is systematically getting rid of anyone who will not swear feldty to Bush.

I've recently been reading "A Reporters Life" by Walter Cronkite. In a part of his book he discusses the Vietnam conflict and a brush he had with then Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger. He said that, in a cocktail party, "Schesinger invoked the need for patriotism on all fronts" (p 255).

Cronkite had a very good response to this attack. He said, "Is patriotism simply agreeing unquestioningly with every action of one's government? Or might we define patriotism as having the courage to speak and act on those principles one thinks are best for the country, whether they are in accordance with the wishes of the government of not? ....Perhaps these dissidents are the patriotic ones. At least they have the right under our constitution to believe their love of country is as sincere as yours, and that they have a right under our constitution to speak their beliefs" (p 255).

I just think that it is interesting that whenever I discuss politics with anyone around here... a lot of times their first response to anyone opposed to the war is "You hate America, blah, blah, blah."

It's just interesting how events travel in circles. At our founding we had the Alien and Sedition Acts. We had the McCarthy Era. Now we have the Patriot Act. Now I'm not saying the Patriot act is necessarily bad, but I have to think of the past. Could we not be setting ourself up for another McCarthy type era, what, with the cabinet changes, a republican congress and a republican president, and, most likely, a supreme court with a republican majority.

Don't get me wrong, I consider myself in the middle of the parties... maybe ever to the right when it comes to moral issues. But I don't like the idea of the exploitation of fear in our nation. And... not that Bush will exploit it, I just don't like the option being there for him.

It's not that I, personally feel that I have anything to hide. But personally, I like the idea of freedom of expression and freedom of ideas. I wouldn't like too think that anyone would have any excuss to put my dear friend Reid behind bars or deport him to some island somewhere... like hawaii, just for his political views.

Anyways, we were just talking about this in one of my classes and I thought it was interesting...

Also... this article is interesting. Everyone is saying that most of the resistance in Iraq is coming from foreign aid...

"Of the more than 1,000 men between the ages of 15 and 55 who were captured in intense fighting in the center of the insurgency over the last week, just 15 are confirmed foreign fighters, Gen. George W. Casey, the top U.S. ground commander in Iraq, said Monday" ("Few Foreigners Among Insurgents," John Hendren, November 16, 2004, http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/iraq/la-fg-fighters16nov16,0,3957846.story?coll=la-home-headlines)

Amen.

2004-11-05T15:41:00.000-08:00

So the elections are all over with and it looks as though Bush has "4 more years." Amazing in everyway...

I have to be honest, I didn't vote in the elections this last Tuesday. When I told this to some of the girls in my ward, they told me that since I hadn't voted, I now didn't have the right to complain about anything that happens in the government. I expressed to them that I was most likely going to complain about everything whether I had the right to complain about it or not. I also expressed the idea that I was different then the people who hadn't voted simply because of apathy. I was informed. I've held debates with my friends, read many books, watched the debates, wathed the news, etc. I had every opportunity to vote, but it all came down to me not wanting to be responsible for the ensueing crap that will happen in the next 4 years.

If I am not allowed to criticize because I didn't vote, then that mean that all the people who voted for Bush are now responsible for everything that he will do in the next 4 years. That mean the deaths of the thousands of soldiers who will die in our pointless war, untold numbers of civilians, etc. I understand that in some way I am responsible because I didn't vote against Bush, but I think it is worse to be actively responsible than passively responsible.

I'm not saying that if Kerry would have won it would have been any better. Because if he would have won, then everyone that voted for him would be responsible for his actions. But since he lost, they are free from guilt. So maybe the way to go about it would be to try to vote on the side of the loser... it would alleviate any responsibilty.

I think that it is kinda weird that I am diminishing my civic responsibility in an attempt to rid myself of responsibility for the crap that we are going to do. I know I am supposed to vote for the "lesser of two evils." But in all actuality, I really cant do that. I was inable to cough up even the postage required to vote absentee for the candate that I hated the least. It is just not in me.

Anyways, this is how I feel either of the candidates would have treated the war:

We will be there for another 6 months, long enough for them to have their "elections," and then we will pull our troops and funding almost all the way out. Bush will come on and proclaim that we have won the "war on terror," that we have once again struck a blow again the "evil forces that threaten our freedom." Yada yada yada, we all know what he will say because all he speeches sound the same. In a couple of years, a general or military leader (one who most likely we are currently training and arming) will perform a military coup, organize a authoritarian government, and bring us around back to the beginning.

Either that, or we will continue to occupy, but will just move the U.S. media's focus away ($$$) from Iraq, and after time, perhaps 30 years, America will forget and accept the troops there as the norm (kinda like we still have the 20th infantry in still pointing their guns at Mr. Kim and his nuclear weapons in N. Korea).

Maybe I'm wrong, I hope that I am wrong, but history persuades me other wise... any comments?

2004-10-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

I went in on Thursday and changed my major... I am now majoring in History. And while that puts me back a semester, at least I will be able to take some really cool classes, classes that I might actually enjoy while I am here at school. I went and found out that I already (at the end of this semester) have a communications minor and am only a couple of classes away from a business minor. Needless to say, I was fairly happy.

It has been raining for the last week, nonstop, but this is good because it looks like they are going to open the resorts in the next week or so. Things were really looking on the up and up...

But then I lost my job. Yup... BYU has made some budget cut backs and have once again found a way to screw everyone over (by "everyone" I mean me). So... once again a dark cloud of depression has settled over me and the only silver lining that exists will attract lightening, ending my pitiful life.

So I guess I'm in the job market. I'm sure I'll find something out there... but with my luck... who knows what could happen. I knew I should have made more sacrifices to Molech this last month.

Elections are coming up in 11 days... and I'm sure that whichever candidate wins will send us into the beginning stages of Armegeddon. I wish Edwards was running instead of Kerry... Anyways, I was watching Bowling for Columbine last night on T.V. with a couple of people and we ending up having a political conversation for almost 3 hours. It is interesting that I am the most liberal person in the conversation, and I have realized this happening more and more often.

Anyways, I went to MichaelMoore.com to see if they had a bibliography for the movie, similar to the one that he has for 911. He doesn't, but there is a really funny article that he wrote. Maybe having gone to see him speak in the last week makes it funnier for me, because he actually does the underwear and ramen thing... but here is the link:

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?messageDate=2004-10-06

Anyways... this is my life. Amen

2004-10-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

My life is pretty much still in shambles, I don't really know what I am going to do. Do you know how hard it is to find motivation to go and participate in my Communications classes when I know that I am, most likely, not going to graduate in. I guess I will get the best grade that I can, but that will only be for my personal gratification, seeing as it doesn't really matter.

We had this sweet BBQ at work today. One of our supervisors brought elk steaks in, which I have never really been fond of, but this time they were pretty good. We had all sorts of junk, yada yada yada. And I was on the clock... so everything worked out ok.

I was reading Reid's blog, and a comment by Jackie, which said that we need to confront people about stuff. Personally while I think that it is good to be forward with people, I don't know if that is always the best option. I resently read a book called the "Art of War" by Sun Tzu which talks about this. He explains many times the best way to win a battle is to win it before it starts, without conflict. I think this applys to life situations, it is always better to take preliminary steps, such as diplomacy (i.e. doing nice things, saying nice things, etc), to prevent a battle from beginning in the first place. Also, "Don't fight the battles you can't win." In my opinion it would be foolish to confront someone on something that there could be no resolution to, or something they can't change. Anyways, I was just thinking about it, and while confrontation is sometimes necessary, I don't know if it always is. But, I would take anything that I say with a grain of salt 'cause, let's face it, I'm not all that bright... I mean... I can't even get into a major...

But history is sounding more and more appealing... I'm still going to appeal everything, but I doubt that they will make an exception for me... I know my own luck. But if I graduate with a degree in history and a minor in communication and business, I think that I will be fairly marketable upon graduation. There is always the option on getting an internship doing Marketing/Advertising anyways, and just go from there to a job in that field.

All I know is that upon my graduation, when they have all of them little guys call me up asking for Alumni Donations, I am going to say one of three things:

1. "I already pay my tithing" or
2. "I tried to get into several of your programs here at BYU, and evidently they didn't want me... anyways, I already made a donation to Sacred Heart and Notre Dame" or
3. "Screw you"

blah, blah, blah... Amen

2004-10-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

So, I got rejected from my major yesterday. That really sucks because I literally have no clue what I am going to do with my life now... and am really reaching towards not really even caring anymore. The reason I went into the Advertising major is because it's in the Communications dept. (the dept. all the athlets go into) is because it's really easy, everyone gets accepted... but once again I have proved that, not only am I a bad student, I'm a horrible person. I've come to accept this.

My mother has made me promise not to do anything rash or stupid, so my desire to drop out and move into Jones' camper in Montana on 5 acres of land, working in a mine-shaft and blowing stuff up with the 2 boxes of dynamite he recently aquired are put on hold.

I'm going to appeal the decision and find out what is going on by the 20th of this month, then probably change my major to History, or another major if I can find one that requires less credits. I think history is my best bet... and then I can graduate and do... you know... those things that people with degrees in history do... like continue laying carpet, or join a plumbers guild, or... you know... something like that.

No... actually I'll probably go to a grad program. Become a professor? Reid is going to London or something to get a masters in 10 months or something like that. Maybe that could be neat. There are a whole lot of maybes going on... and somewhere I'm probably going to have to figure it all out...

I'm open to any suggestions for anything... hmmm... chef?

2004-09-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

BYU heads off against number 1 ranked USC this evening. I have scored myself some tickets and will hopefully be sitting in the USC section. I have a feeling that it is not going to be pretty in the least. We will be destroyed, and I hope by a whole lot because that will ensure the mid-season release of Crowton (our head coach). Some alumni has already offered to pay off his contract if they fire him.

I have moved into my new apartment here and am enjoying it. There seem to be a couple of girls that live around here in the complex that are rather cute. Maybe I will talk to one some day. That, I'm sure will make my mother happy.

My brother is getting married on the 18th of February to my future sister in law. That's pretty cool.

I'm still working, laying carpet for BYU. I work every morning from 8 - 12, and then I have classes afterwards. It's really not that bad. Most of the time we don't really do much at work, so it's pretty lazy and my bosses are cool.

I just applied for my major, Advertising and Marketing. Hopefully I will be able to get into it 'cause if not, it pretty much means I am a complete failure, not only as a student but as a member of the human race.

I took off work Friday because I was sick, took enough drugs to kill anything that my reside in my body and then got 12 hours of sleep. I still feel like crap. But last night I went up to the University of Utah in Salt Lake for a free concert that they were having up there. A band called Death Cab for Cuttie was playing, and they are pretty sweet. Afterwards we went to the NY style pizza place called the Pie.

Anyways, I will hopefully be updatying my blog a little more often then I have been, but probably not, so you might as well enjoy it while you have it.

Oh... I bought my snowboard season pass. Maybe I'll break my right wrist again so that the doctors can set the bone right this time. That would be fun.

2004-07-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

So... I guess not a lot has happened in my life since my triumphant return for the nether-worlds of Europe. I got a new job laying carpet up on the BYU campus. It is a pretty sweet gig... mostly because everyone I work with (with the exception of 1 person) is really cool. Plus... I got a "bank error in your favor" when I started working. Evidently I am making much more now than I am supposed to be making. You say "bank error," I say Karma. Unfortunately, they give us really sharp knives, and you know how us jews are with our knives. I tried to cut my finger off today just after making a comment about how I hadn't cut myself in the last couple of days. It bled through a band-aid and a half. But yeah... my life is pretty boring. Every day i arise at 7:45 and get to work at 8. Then I work until 4:30, go to the gym and then go to the pool and sit around for a while (depending on the weather). I then take my daily shower (hygene.... you know), and sit around till 11:30. I guess it's not all that bad... It is a good time to save up for all the future things that I am going to be needing to buy... pool table, season snowboard pass, a new kidney to filter the 100+ oz. of coke that I drink everyday. Anyways... that is my life, I hope to enlighten y'all to a further extent in the next few days, I'm sure that I have much to talk about...

2004-06-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

The way I view the war is complicated. Personally, I'm unsure on whether we should have gone in in the first place. But I don't, however, think that there have been an enormous amount of conspiracies with "intelligence reports" and whatever to get us into Iraq. So, in my personal opinion, I think we could have used a little more diplomacy before deploying troops. But... since we have already passed that point, I think that it would be stupid to withdrawl at the present time. We might as well finish what we set out to accomplish. Besides, a mass withdrawl of troops would probably lead to a large loss of life. I thought these quotes were interesting, I'm pretty sure they are in context and sited correctly.

"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line."

- President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998

"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program."

- President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998

"Iraq is a long wayfrom [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face."

- Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998

"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983."

- Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998

"We urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S.
Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs."

- Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Daschle (D-SD), John Kerry ( D - MA), and others Oct. 9, 1998

"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process."

- Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998

"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass
destruction and palaces for his cronies."

- Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999

"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies."

- Letter to President Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,) and others,
December 5, 2001

"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandate of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them."

- Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002

"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country."

- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruc tion has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power."

- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction."

- Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002

"The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons..."

- Sen. Robert Byrd (D, WV), Oct. 3, 2002

"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to
use force-- if necessary-- to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security."

- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002

"There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years ... We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction."

- Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002

"He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do."-

- Rep. Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that
Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapon stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."

- Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

"We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction."

- Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL), Dec. 8, 2002

"Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation ... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."

- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003

2004-06-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

So... I have returned from my glorious trip from europe. Things here aren't exactly the same as I though they would be. Actually, maybe I did expect it... I've been building up an enormous amount of karma over the last 22 years. It is time for some of that to be imposed on me. My girlfriend dumped me for some other dude when i called to say hi in Paris. Who would have known 3 weeks was such an enormous period of time. My job said they don't need me any more. My back window wont roll up. And my serpentine belt may be "dangerously close to breaking." As I have said on numerous occasions, "life sucks and then you die." Actually, I guess it is not that bad. I might get a job laying carpet with despain, and I would start making more money than I currently make. And I'm pretty sure that I want to be gay... so the girl think wont be that big of a deal. Amen.

2004-05-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

So... I guess a lot has occured lately in my life, so I figured it might be a good idea to get on and update my blog for the 1 or 2 readers that I could possibly have...

I've recently moved to a newer residence south of campus, and boy does that make a world of difference. It's not that where I was before, in a house surrounded by old people, wasn't a prime spot. It was just difficult to be social and meet people and whatnot. And our ward absolutely sucked.

But now I live down at the Elms. Our ward is still kinda weird, but you have to expect that because we are at BYU. A mojority of my friends live up at Liberty Square, and I have oter conections elsewhere. So, in other words, I have been able to spread myself and tap a bunch of different places for their precious resources.

Me and a girl have begun hanging out a lot... I think I might like her. That may sound weird to some of you, bu for a while there I thought that I was an asexual being, incapable of reproduction. But it appears that the tides have turned and I have once again ended up on the hetero side of things. The first time that I met her, she had braids in her hair (like the ones black people wear). It was awsome. Now she just has really long, blonde hair. She's really cool (and I think she might even be a democrat Reid).

I'm going to Europe in a couple of weeks. I decided that it was time for me to hit the road and see the world. I got a pretty good price on everything. I'm flying into London, gonna stay there for a couple of day. Then taking a plane down to Palermo, Italy (in Sicily). Then taking the train all the way up to London again. It's going to be como loco. Anyways, I will probably post an official itinerary onlne for y'all so that you can follow my trail, virlually.

Anyways, that's about it...

2004-04-02T16:55:00.000-08:00

Some have been asking, "Why don't you update your blog?" The answer to that lies in a right hand, or a lack thereof. I broke my arm a few weeks ago and have been in a drugged stupper since. And that's pretty much all that is going on in my life. Except that I've fallen in love with a female, all I have to do now is tell her. Actually, I guess the first step would be talking to her at all... but the line between lust and love is so thin these day, how can a man such as I, and so unaquanted with men and things, come to any certain conclusion about who is right, and who is wrong. Amen.

2004-02-20T07:28:00.000-08:00

I just had a wonderful vacation to the state of California... it was filled with wonder and excitment and magical-ness. I went to the beach, had a bon-fire, numbed my legs in the fridgid waters of the deep. I went to TJ (Tijuana) and got a huge sombrero to wear around... it was funny because when I was wearing it all the Americans were asking what I had be drinking (I guess only drunk people wear ridiculously large sombreros these days). I ate 11 tacos.

But anyways, on the way down, I was going a bit fast and I got a speeding ticket for 70 bucks... now I know that's not that bad, but it still sucks. But on the way home I stopped in Vegas and played some blackjack and I almost got enough to pay for me speeding ticket. I was thinking, "Wow, the Lord sure has blessed me!" but when I pointed it out to a friend she tried to put it into another context, "Are you saying the Lord blessed you in your gambling because you broke the law." So I thought about that for a little while, I had never really thought of it that way. I was amazed, all I could thing was, "Man, God is really cool!!" And I went my merry way rejoicing! Amen.

2004-01-29T18:36:00.000-08:00

What's the deal with diet freakin' coke... so I was talking to this girl in one of my classes and she was saying that she loves diet coke. My immediate response was, "Have you ever drunk diet?" Of course we entered into a debate about the benefits of both, she, promoting her heathen apostacy of diet, while me taking the Christian stance with regular. I don't understand it. Of course, after a long and lengthy debate, weighing the pros and cons, I strengthened my stance with regular and struck a blow against the devil. Diet 7-up is the worst, most vial, haunting substance that I have ever beheld. Horrible!

I had one of the awsomest days yesterday... I got paid, I got a promotion at my work, I went snowboarding. My new job is sweet, I get paid more, I have a computer and a desk that I work at. I do graphic design for The Nametag Source. People all over the world send logos to me at our graphics email address and we design nametags with the specs that they designate. Or we make logos for them. Basically I ate ambrosia and am now becoming a god at Corel and Adobe and all sorts of other graphic design programs. Snowboarding was sweet, and true to the myth, I had a $6 guacamole burger at Carl's. Yes... Life is good, life is good... amen... and FM.

2004-01-27T11:58:00.000-08:00

So, Park city was awsome yesterday! The place is absolutely huge, the resort we went to that is. We would take a lift, and then snowboard to another lift, and then to another... there was the possibility of taking like 25+ lifts all over the place... it was absolutely crazy. In the whole day, we only came down to the bottom of the mountains once or twice.

Didn't have a chance to go to any films... but I did walk around for a minute or two. The place really dies after the festival... it was crazy the last time we went. But... I guess that's the way it rolls aroiund here.

I have a big Econ test to go to up in SLC, so I'm gonna bounce. Well.. see ya later...

2004-01-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

After reading Reid's last blog, I think that I am going to have to let him use Ji-had in the title of his blog. I don't even want to know whats going on over there, but it sure isn't pretty... well... I guess in the sense of the word it's a little cute... but I draw the line there. Speaking of politics, my time in the midst of the facist right is going well. I have not yet been subdued by their... methods. I spend my time doing a variety of tasks from working to class to snow recreation. I went snowboarding Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this last week.

I had a chance to go up to Park City to the Sundance Festival. I didn't see any of the movies or anything, but just walked around and enjoyed the maylee. There is a BYU student who had a film in there, he just sold the rights of it for $3 Million. It cost him about $300,000 to produce... freak... I want to make movies. But I guess it is nominated for an award so he probably did a good job. It's called Napolean Dynomite. Just thought you might want to know.

They were giving out free day passes to Park City Resorts at a local grocery store for this Monday, and me and a couple of other are the happy recipiants of such ($70 value). So we are going to go up there and do that Monday, and then afterwards go and see a independant film up there because supposedly Monday and Tuesday they are showing the award winners to an open audience. Wish us luck.

I saw a political billboard the other day that was titled "Harmful effects of Illegal Immigration," and it bullets abunch of items. But what I thought was funny was that they put TERRORISM up there in red. I'm not sure, but were the 9-11 dudes illegal immigrants, or where are they getting that from. My roommate says that the whole thing is a logical fallacy... I think so to. In my opinion, terrorism and immigration have nothing in common... maybe I'm wrong... and by wrong i mean right... amen!

2004-01-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the wonderful world of Blogtastical goodness. Where the men look like men and the women do too. A wonderful array of color and bright lights. Homoerotic? Nah, but we are satisfied.

So I sucessfully completed my first week back. Boy howdy was it amazing. I almost worked 40 hours... unfortunately i spent a lot of money too to make up for it. On Tuesdays I have classes straight from 2:30 to 10:00 pm. It almost killed me! The only thing that made it any better was knowing that I only had class 2 times a week. Anyways, my life is boring, and that's pretty much all. Amen...

2004-01-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

I sit in a sultry mood in my apartment... one of my roommates knitting a scarf, the cold snow haralding my arrival, and a crimson rainbow of irridecent apathy permiating the air. Ma in her kierchif, and I in my hat, had just settled down for a long winters nap (recalled to my memory by Jared). A wonderful time to reflect on this new year, and to make some resolutions. Since lists are the new thing this year....:

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Give up on hope
2. Eat more $6 burgers at Carl's Jr. (only $3.99)
3. Legally assimalate peganism into Christianity
4. Pray to Fertility Godess
5. Be more fertile
6. Don't be a pedophile
6 1/2. Grow a pumpkin THIS big!
7. Run
8. Skip
9. and Jump...

So... to you, and your's, and also mine, and mine's.... I wish a chaste New Year... and may we await the coming of the year of the Dragon... in thy mercy... Amen.

2003-12-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

So, I guess I am now what normal members of society would call a, "snowboarder." Unfortunately, I hate snowboarders. I think that there is a drastical difference between "snowboarding" and "snowboarder." We had a talk about this the other night... snowboarders are basically skateboarders, who can no longer skateboard because everything is covered with snow. So their parents dress them up all nice and trendy, and the go and sit near the half-pipe the whole day watching people go down and laughing. Most of the time there is one or two of them that will go off every once and a while and do something... most of the time falling. And then they will go back to just sitting there and being a prick, enjoying the social status of being a "snowboarder." I'm personally a much larger fan of "skiers," but I haven't delved deeply into their sub-culture as of yet. Now, don't get me wrong, love the "snowboarding," hate the "snowboarder."

I heard today from a reliable source that it was in the 70's down in California, and that is where I will be in little more that 38 hours. Boy howdy is it cold up here.

I'm almost completed with all of my finals, one more tomorrow, and it's rather a duzzy, if I do say so myself. I'm guessing that I will pulll out this semester with maybe a 3.3. Hopefully higher, but at this present time I am happy that I no longer an subjected to the intense shedule of this NAZI Ragime'(sp?)... now don't get me wrong, I enjoy NAZI just as much as the next man, but I think some of the people at BYU are more facist than Hitler... interesting predicament. As for politics, I came to the conclusion the other day that both right and left wing extremests are idiots... but nevertheless they serve a purpose in society, to repel the normal population towards the center, away from their stupidity. I've theorized that someones political agenda shed a large light on there intelligence, and it seems that the most intelligent people are lumped somewhat in the center (for the most part), even though I am barely swayed to the right. But then again, I never considered myself an intelligent person...

2003-12-09T11:52:00.000-08:00

Reid was right for a change... Never before have I wanted a samurai sword more than I do at this current moment (and that's a hard thing to accomplish). Last Samurai has the best fight scenes that I have ever seen in a movie. I saw it last night, and I am seriously considering going again, either tonight of tomorrow. In one of the last battle scenes they pan out to get a whole picture of the melee, and both me and my roommate said, "Oh freak!" at exactly the same time. I highly recommend...

I went snowboarding for the first time this season last Thurday, and then again on Saturday. I could hardly walk at all for the last 3 day, but I think that buy the time this Friday and Saturday come around I should be prepared to, once again, beat the living (yes "living") crap out of myself.

2003-11-25T08:30:00.000-08:00

Later this evening I am going to be embarking on a journey... not a journey of Biblical proportions... but still a journey nonetheless. Consider me Moses... Now, imagine me going to the Promise Land. It's a perfect analogy. Except the me and Moses really have nothing in common, except that you consided me Moses in our little hypothetical situation and that you imagined me going to the Promise Land.

Now let's just say that that Promised Land was California. Well... you just imagined right!!! I'm going to California. I'm gonna saddle and load up the car with supplies and I'm leaving... oh yes... I'm leaving... nay to return til 5 days hence...

So BYU's last game was a horribly depressing exibit. I've never even heard of a game that was this boring. The Final Score was BYU 0 (first shutout since the 50's or something like that), Utah 3. I've seen soccer games with much higher scores. Plus... it was like 20 degrees outside. And the game was so close that you had to stay and watch. It was just a horrible experience all the way around.

I officially have changed my major... I am now going to do Marketing and Advertising. It's in the communications school. What really drew me to the major was the whole "communications" thing. It's about time I had a phoney major. Maybe now I can get a good grade on something. Probably not... but at least it's worth a try. Amen... and Amen.

2003-11-18T20:56:00.000-08:00

So... the new Russell Crow movie caused quite the stir amoungst the masses... but to be honest, I'm not quite sure that I'm a great fan. The story line lacked of... depth... I don't know if that's what you would call it. But there were all these extra story lines that had no bearing on anything. There really were no twists or turns in the plot to hold my attention... just a long, long movie... seemed like to me. But I was probably drunk or something ridiculous like that at the time... so you never can be too sure. There were some pretty cool battle scenes and whatnot, but even then, I just imagined Maximus Arelious in some arena fighting some dude with a lion. I don't know... maybe it's just me.

My beloved brother is attempting to hook me up with some girl that he doesn't know... I think... For some reason I doubt his ability to play matchmaker... But most likely I think he's probably trying to make me look like an idiot... I mean... that's what I would do if I was him. Sounds like fine silk and hors'deuvres for the rest of us.

"You can get anything you want at Allison's Resturaunt... [something... something] around the back, 1/2 a mile from the railroad tracks..." Amen.

2003-11-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

MATRIX REVOLUTIONS!
Provo, Ut. A powerful array of lights, mech warriors, and bullets. All shimmery and shinny with Wyld Stallions guitarist Neo to boot.
It's not that I thought the movie sucked... It just wasn't a Matrix movie. Me and my roommates came to the conclusion that they should come out and make an official statement saying that the movie released wasn't actually Matrix:Revolutions... that it was all a big scam, and then come out with a new movie. Because the movie itself wasn't exactly... bad. It had lots of good action... yada yada yada. But I think it would do better with the title "Machines vs Humans," or "MechWarrior," or "Kick A*^ 4: Return to the Underground." The movie felt like it was an entirely different movie from the others. Like it had a different writter, producer, and director. It didn't answer any of the question that arose during the 2nd movie. In fact, it left me even more confused. After the 2nd movie I was able to think of two logical solutions that could possible explain everything. The first was the matrix inside a matrix thing... and the 2nd was that Neo had supernatural powers in the real world (which sucks and throws out most of the reason why the movies are so cool in the first place). Bill S. Preston Esquire is not Jesus. And what was up with the boss machine dude at the end? "It's so beautiful... All the lights"??? And Trinity giving a 20 minute discourse with 7 sharp tubes going through her torso. My only hope not to ruin the other 2 movies is to continue to believe that it is still a matrix inside a matrix and just nobody knows about it. Lets hope that it is enough... Selah.

2003-10-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

FINAL SCORE - VEGAS 7 MCINTOSH 0

So, I started out on the nickel slot Friday night. My Karma was excellent. I had a steady upward trend in my winning. I pull out after a while with 4 bucks profit. The next night, in an attempt to build up more positive karma, I give my winnings to this dude having "car trouble." Obviously Budhism is false because I lost another 6 bucks the next night putting Vegas up 7 to 0. Next time I'm gonna get him... oh yes... I'm gonna get him!

2003-10-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

BYU FOOTBALL SUCKS!

I never thought I would be the kind of fair-weather fan that walks out when our team is losing... but 50+ to 13 is where I draw the line. Why can't I go to a school where they can show highlights from a year after 1984. Oh well.. maybe in another life... Amen... no wait... I take that "Amen" back...

2003-10-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted anything in a while... shoot me. I've been busy lately. I have a big accounting test tomorrow, a big stats test on Friday, and a big geology test next Wednesday. If I was the kind of person who was apt to studying ridiculous amounts... I would be swamped.

I work at the coolest place ever. We had a little work meeting today with everyone there (about 9 people). And our boss, his names Brian (not Horspool), is sweet. The basic topic of discussion is when we are going to have all of our parties. In the next month they are planning on renting out a condo in park city and having everyone go up there and hang out for the weekend. We are planning the big Christmas party, and I even hear rumor of a Christmas bonus. The business is going to become a lot more automative in the next month or so... they are basically getting all new machines and whatnot, so we are all going to be trained on the machines and everything... so could be getting a little crazy.

The only thing concerning about the whole Christmas bash is that "signficant" others are invited to come along. And, seeing that I'm the only dude around without one at our work... I figure I only have about 3 months to get ahold of one of them. At least until the month of December is over. So... maybe "Match-Maker Amy" can work some magic before her exotic mission, or one of the other million "Match-Makers" around town. "Match-Maker, Match-Maker make be a match, find me a find, catch me a catch..?" Amen.

2003-09-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

"Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception." (Mark Twain in The Mysterious Stranger)

I thought with the new political war raging on the Blog that I would throw Mark Twain on the fire with it. I don't know if the current conflict coincides with this particular quatation... but it certainly hints at it. Thinking that Mark Twain lived many, many moons ago... "Isn't it ironic... don't you think? A little tooo ironic! Yeah, I really do think."

So I started work the other day... I make the finest in key chains, license plate coverings, and all other art on plastic objects. It's work... but at least I am at some extent a contributing member of society. And soon my life will be flowing with the "milk and honey" of hard-capital. Self indignation derides human response and motivation to become. Becoming the essence of mortal existance (and no, that wasn't supposed to make sense). Amen.

2003-09-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

"And I will feed them that opress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be made drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine..." (Isaiah 49:26)

Have you ever wondered why there are 83,000 different Christian denominations in the U.S. Take a look at the quote above. Isn't the Bible amazing? Anyone, anywhere can look through it and find some completely random verse somewhere and make a religion off of it. Look at JW's, their whole religion is based around being completely random and ridiculous. But onto things, not necessarily more important... but most likely, still considered things.

I am now proud to report that I am the proud owner of a job. Yes... it is true! I will no longer be living off of loans and the extrenuating sale of my body to strangers to supply bread for my starving family. I recently got hired on with Florida Keys Engraving. I will be making key chains, magnets, etc with various designs. Have you ever wondered where all those missionaries get those marvelously designed name-tags... today I saw the machine that supplies the entire world with name-tags. Simply amazing. Now... if I can make like a diet and curtail my expenditures, while raking in a marvelous bounty of hard capital, I should be rolling in liquid refreshment the world over. Boy howdy will I!! I am also pleased to report that of the 15 emplyees they have had over the last year, only one of them has lost a finger on the job... not bad. Unfortunately, I consider myself to be a fairly accident-prone person, so... I'd approzimate that I have a 50/50% shot of losing a digit/dieing in the next 4 - 6 months. But you know, that's what life is all about, taking chances and all that shwack. Just remember, "I am the Egg-Man, we are the Walrus. Couk-couk-ca-chew. couk-couk-ca-chew." Amen.

2003-09-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." (Groucho Mark)

I believe the above quote to be true with all my hart (the Olde Englishe term for deer). What's up with the extra "e" on the end of everything these days. If you want something to represent a "classic" look, or demonstrate a return to "traditional American values," you put the "e" on it? Doesn't make any sense to me. Especially since I, personally, think of England when I see it. Or Ireland/Scotland. But, if the customer buys it then I guess its gotta work. But out of the top pubs/resturants/etc. that exist in this blasted strip of land that we call home, how many are of good report, praiseworthy, or have an extra "e" on the end of it? I would guess that a great majority do not. SO.... Conclusion: the "e" represents failure.

Tonight we had an occasion called Fall Fling which has been hyped as the fall, "event-to-remember". Boy-howdy was it a hoot-dandy. A hoot-sauce-dandy. No, sarcasm aside, it was fun. Mostly due to us making a couple of new friends. So instead of it being just Taylor and I the whole night, it was Taylor, me, and a couple of girls. Yes... girls. I didn't think that it was possible. But I guess we have quasi-magnetic personalities afterall... well... actually that's probably a drastic overstatement. We were carrying high caliber weapons, large quantities of mace, either, and the latest in mind control devices... friends... hostages... in my book there is really no difference... The Blog says it, and so it is true. Amen.

To view more info on "olde" english words: http://www.rootsweb.com/~genepool/sayings.htm

2003-09-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

"Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs." (Alfred Hitchcock)

To many of you, I am a foreign entity contaminating the soil you walk on and the air you breath. Perhaps this true... but at least I'm an entity.

I really like Johnny Depp... like most of this country at the current time... but I would like to point out that I liked him a lot, even before this accursed (although good) Pirate movie released. A new movie... called Once Upon a Time in Mexico is going to be released this Friday with our good friend Johnny. It looks to be the next "Desparado." A sequel perhaps? Alas... and.. Amen.

2003-09-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

"If I ever ran into myself, I would hit myself so hard, I wouldn't know what hit me." (unknown)

This weekend was an interesting strain of events. On Friday, Taylor, one of my beloved roommates, wanted to go up to Park City to hang out at his parents condo. So we all go up there and it is an incredibly nice place. There's a pool table, a fuseball-like game called Boccerball, and all sorts of other nice attrocities of our heavily enamored, capitalist society. We watched the first Lord of the Rings movie, and then we watched a little dvd logo bounce around the screen, waiting for the precise moment that it would bounce exactly off of a corner with no double-bounce. After about an hour of that, we began to pass into the realm of unconscienceness, trading one phase of endless reality for another. I dreamed of machines, coconuts, and lathering badgers in hand soap. In the morning, I awoke to the smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes in a melancholy of aroma designed to stimulate and enhance the senses. And we then went to this lake to do some boating/wakeboarding. Unfortunately, it was freezing (not literally). I was the last person to go in, and right when i get in the water, it starts to pour. Raining so hard that it actually hurt my frail, little, skinny body. So, we start to head back... and once we get to the designed loading place, the sun comes out... I'm still freezing, but at least there is sun. So I go out again and have my dirty, little way with it... I did alright considering it was my first time. I got up my first attempt, but anytime I tryed to do anything even remotely cool, I would fall over. Being wet, having the wind blow on your body isn't exactly... warm... if you know what I mean. Everyone on the boat was huddled in a little corner of the boat hidding from the all-impressing and eminate hypothermia. All in all it was a good day. Except for I had to go back and watch BYU lose to USC... worse was recieving a taunting phone call from Guiselle at the end of the game asking me what the final score was... ridiculous. And thus it was in the 2003 year of this, the quasi-pleasant year of our lord. Amen.

2003-09-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Endeavors into this realm have manifested periodically, such as the time he achieved insight into a hidden aspect of the unicursal hexagram utilizing an astral journey initiated through meditation and DMT... Danny recommends as a device of protection and containment a thorough study and utilization of the underlying geometry of the Temple of Solomon for anyone purchasing their next record." (Danny from Tool)

Well... it was my first day of class today... so I thought that I would celebrate by placing a slightly plump graduate with a little child. I thought perhaps the little child was being tenderized for the eatting... maybe not... but you can never be too sure with those graduates... right Billy. Not, that I condone the killing and consumption of small children, but mostly the unmerceless beating and tenderizing of an already tender morsel.

Class was sufficient today. I only had a couple of classes (i.e. 2). So I'm just easing back into the swing of things. Tomorrow is my big day... where I have classes that aren't guitar or religion. I don't know if I am going to make it. But I'm sure the blog will survive my passing, just as the timeless masses have survived global warming and increasing pestilance. Life will go on... or in the epic words of the movie Jurasic Park, "Nature finds a way." Although, I think that quote is grossly overrated. With enough high-tech weaponry I can destroy whatever advanced, heavily advanced, mutant species that nature throws at me. More or less.

Our other roommate finally came in... his names Taylor. He's from Yucaipa. But here in Blog World we don't hold nothing, on nothing, for nobody, by and by, nothing for nothing is something. While being nothing, and no one, nor something. Amen.

2003-08-31T15:49:00.000-07:00

"There he goes, one of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." (Hunter S. Thompson)

Exactly the thoughts that I had as I walked around campus one fine evening. Which prompted to my mind a question... What on Earth are people thinking? I'm sure you have thought the same on several occasions... Where do these "people" come from? Where do they go? What are they doing here? Perhaps an answer, much more sacred than secret, would suffice. But, more or less, the conclusion that I have made compounds to this... the populous is a babbling bunch of idiots... either that or robots. One or the other. Love, kisses... amen.

2003-08-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Stardate: August 26, 2003

Richard Gere from the Mothman prophesy may have experience with small rodents... but that's nothing on this... well... maybe a little bit. This new post will relate my experiences this past weekend. My friend and prior mission companion Thalman is from a little town called Richfield, right, smack-dab in the center of the little town called Utah. It's a little over an hour away from the little town called Provo where I am currently residing. Me and Despain think that it would be fun to go down to Richfield to their 9:00 church meeting and hear him speak. On Saturday evening we were discussing the predicament... of where the church was, how to get there, yada yada yada. We figured that it would be a lot easier to go down the night before and find it, and then just spend the night in the car... instead of risking not finding the place and showing up late to church to the embarasment of all parties involved. Despain wanted to watch the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas before we left. So, we did that... and then around 1:00 we decide to head down. Of course, Despain, being a native Utahan was the navigator... we got off in this little town and searched for a "short cut", unable to find it we got back on the freeway and head the "long way." We saw some deer and other wild animals... As mentioned from my previous post, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is not a good movie to watch when you're awake, let alone going down the highway at 1:00 in the morning. As the bugs hit our windshield, all I could imagine was the shattered dreams of small children smashing against my windshield. Horrible was the sight... horrible the memory. Now let's never speak of it again. We arrived in Richfield without incident, found the church, and got a couple hours of sleep before we rolled out of the car and attended church. Richfield may look and sound like a little town in the middle of nowhere... but it is packed full of attractive, daughters of this fine country. Thalman did a good job on his talk... we went through the range of emotions... there was sadness, joy, love, hate, laughter... he even did an impression of Yoda from the stage. We went to his home later and enjoyed some fine, traditional American cooking... and on the way home we almost took a "short cut" through the state of Colorado. Amen.

2003-08-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

Joseph Stalin Today on Blog Talk!

Note: Because of the language barrier we have brought in Linguistics Specialist and California Candidate for Governor Gary Coleman to translate. This diagram indicates how the translation and interview will be held:

Questions:

Blog Talk ------> ------>

Answers:

------> ------> Blog Talk

Blog Talk: Thanks a bunch guys for coming today... especially thanks to you Gary for helping us out with the translation here. Afterward we have a bunch of pie that you may help yourselves to, may I recommend the Key Lime one. Now Joseph, the world's been wondering lately... what's the deal with Russia? Or as you knew it the United Socialist Soviet Republic.

Joseph Stalin: Well Matt, to be honest... I think Russia sucks. The Mother country was never ment to be put through this kind of... as you American Pigs call, Capitalist Renovation. Personally I think capitalism sucks, and we can see how well "Russia" is doing with the new systems... I think ideas of uneducated heads far outgrew the birthmark... if you know what I mean.

Blog Talk: I think we know exactly what you mean. So tell us how you and Hitler are doing. I mean... after he attacked you, you must have some hard feelings between you two. Now that you are both dead, and most likely burning in hell... do you find that you can put aside your differences and become... well... maybe not friends... but... learn to tolerate each other?

Stalin: We've actually been getting along great. After talking with each other... we've learned to realize that in life we were both searching, somewhat for the same ideals. Sure we went around it different ways... but I feel we've forgiven each others trespasses.

Blog Talk: I'm sure you've heard about the governors race in Califoria... How do you feel about it? Do you feel that it has become a mockery?

Coleman: What you talkin' 'bout?

Stalin (untranslated): Short, black, TV actor, make good candidate. Arnold is mortal enemy, Austrian. Must destroy. Larry Flint good too.

Blog Talk: Well... is there anything, besides your appearant love of Pornography that you would like to express to all the viewers out there?

Stalin: Socialism is actually a beautiful system of government full of life, and color, and joy. Capitalist pigs like you can never understand the joy of a socialist system. You're to "hip" and "rad" to understand. Someday, however, the iron curtain will fall and the hammer will be your tool, and with the sickle you will harvest your grain. With this pie I will make a new beginning... a fresh start... like the crispy, ever-so-moist, crust of this delicious key-lime pie.

Blog Talk: Thanks for coming on the show... to the audience... feel free to comment below.

2003-08-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon!

Some of the World's most Famous People on Blog Talk

Unfortunately, to get them to come on the show we had to offer them several different types of pie...

Come back next post for the interviews!

2003-08-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

"When an opponent declares, 'I will not come over to your side, 'I calmly say, 'Your child belongs to us already...What are you? You will pass on. Your decendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing but this new community." (Adolf Hitler, In Politics/Nazism)

Quotes a little disturbing isn't it... So, I wouldn't say that I have the greatest sense of school spirit up here in Provo... actually, you might call me the "anti-spirit," or the "arch-spirit." But I was wondering around campus the other day... bear in mind that it's 2 weeks before school starts and there are 40,000 people running around campus, filling the lines to everything, acting ridiculous, etc. All of them wearing a I.D. card, on a piece of yarn, wrapped around their neck. A mob of crazed, religious, zealots ranting about, causing havoc for innocent victims... you know, the ones that actually live here. What is "Education Week" anyways? And that's when I felt a warm feeling inside of me that I had never before felt... SCHOOL SPIRIT! It left just as suddenly as it came, but it was there long enough to say something to the effect of, "Get the heck off my campus." Just remember, Adolf loves little children, and he loves you too! Love, Kisses, Amen.

2003-08-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
(Robert Heinlein, "Job", 1984)

Listening to Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" in a dimly lit basement doesn't feel so bad. Have you ever been in a city where you knew absolutely no one for at least 250 miles? It's not all that bad... I guess... it's just a new opportunity to start again and do whatever I want again. So, I'm the 1st of 4 that is going to be moving into this apartment... kinda sucks because I'm the one who's probably going to end up buying most of the essential items... for example... I already bought a 12 pack of Vanilla Coke, kitchen trash bags, and a large jar of green olives. If I'm not careful I will have everything before they even get here. Isn't Vanilla Coke just divine... perhaps thats why they have, what looks like, a catholic priest talking about it at Vanilla Day Declared in Pomfret when Coca Cola launches Vanilla Coke at "The Bean". What is the world coming to? So what if I like Robert Heinlein? He has some dang good quotes... Sci-Fi isn't that bad... maybe I don't read the latest in Non-fiction... so what if I read about large martians playing "Amazing Grace" on an oversized harp surnamed Lilly. Does that make me a bad person... am I shallow because of it... I've read Voltair, but frankly I'd rather read about the martians than some depressed, french dude "rant and rave" about cannibalism and beastiality and call it the "human condition." Why is it that a lot of classic literature just plain sucks... maybe thats the "human condition..." However, this is a really good quote:

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." (Voltaire)

So I guess 1 good thing has come out of France.

2003-08-19T12:12:00.000-07:00

So, my incredible journey is now through. Before my journey I thought it would be appropriate that I would watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. And believe me that didn't help me out. So I'm planning up for this big trip and everything... the plan includes 2 parts: First, I take a nap so that I will be well rested for the trip; and second, I drive to Vegas. Now the trip up there went without any problems. I met with my friend Zach and hung out with him and some of his friends. Went swimming, etc. Unfortunately, Zach had to go to work at 6:30 on Tuesday, so I figured I might as well drive through the desert at night instead of wake up in the morning and then go. So I hung out with him until about 11:30 and then I left his house on my treck to Provo. Bear in mind that I was well stocked for the journey, I had an ice-chest with a 6-pack of 20 oz. Vanilla Cokes. I drove up to strip and figured... heck, I haven't gambled since I've turned 21, I might as well spend a couple $$$. One of Zach's, friends, parents bought me dinner one night so I figured I would use the money from that. It was like 12:00 when I rolled into the MGM Grand Casino. I didn't feel much like talking to anyone so I was just going to play the slots... I tried a couple $.05 slots, but they weren't that fun. Some nice, old lady offered me something to drink... but I declined. I then figured I was much to classy for the $.05 slots, and that I would try the $.25 ones. I thought that was a little better... Unfortunately I left, with Vegas having raped me for $6, and still utterly confused as to was the fuss about slot machines is. So I leave and I begin the trip up. It's about 4 - 5 hours to Provo from Vegas. I finished 50 oz. of vanilla coke in about 2 hours and only had about 40 oz. left. And eventually vanilla coke just starts to taste really nasty... so I would follow all my drinking with these strong cinnamon mints. Unfortunately I had to pee a lot during the trip. One particular stop strikes my attention. I stopped for gas in St. George and went inside to go to the bathroom. The dude working grave-yard is this 20 year-or-so-old dude who is obviosly gay. So I'm talking to him for a little while... At this point all of the caffine that I had been drinking was about to climax on me... so I'm a little wired. I'm talking to this dude about which energy drink I should buy... he's kinda flirting with me, and I'm really tired so I think it's kinda funny. He talks me into buying this drink called "Rock Star," its a 16 oz. energy drink instead of "Red Bull" which is only 8 oz., for the same price. So I start drinking that thing. Unfortunately that hits my body about the same time all the Coke that I've been chugging hits me, so I'm wide awake, ADHD, and going 80 MPH on a deserted high way. And that would have been fine except for the untimely "low" that happens to you after you drink a lot of caffine... I thought I was hellucinating for a second (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas style). Luckily I got over the "low," and was just, plain, ridiculously tired for the next couple hours... every once in a while I would get out and run around the car... blasting the crappy radio stations that they have in the middle of no-where.

And that brings me to my current state... after a 3 hours nap, I'm as good as new... a little more that 7 hours of sleep in the last 48+ hours... unshower for days... and the waterheater here in my new apartment chose this morning to stop functioning... so no water for me today. But I'm alive... I talked to a gay man... and I hellucinated large bats swooping around my car as I drove through the Mojave Desert.

2003-08-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

"Has there ever been an instance in history in which the majority has been right?" (Robert Heinlein)

So, I went down to Orange today to hang out with a friend. My ultimate goal was to see all of the "shape" places that exist down there. We successfully went to the Block at Orange and the Circle (in Anaheim, i think). But we missed some Triangle thing down in Newport, which I was very upset about. But overall it was fun. We watched an all time classic movie, "Snatch," went to Freddricks of Hollywood, and ate the latest in raw fish cuisine.

So I'm heading up to Utah soon. I don't even know what I'm supposed to pack except for a good $10 to play in vegas with. Sorry guys... I'm poor. But I'm sure that I will figure it all out and everything.

Oh, I decided to unblock Joe.

" Dagon, chief god of the Philistines. Originally worshiped by Canaanites before Philistine invasion of Canaan, as indicated by place names such as Beth-dagon in Judah (Josh. 15:41), and in Asher (Josh. 19:27). Either a fish god or the god of agriculture, from Dag, "fish," or Dagan, "grain." On a wall of a palace in Babylon he is shown as half fish. That he was god of agriculture is supported by the tribute which priests and diviners bade the rulers to send when the ark was returned to Israel. Five golden mice and five golden emerods (tumors, ASV) were votive offerings expressing gratitude for Dagon's freeing their fields of mice and their bodies of tumors. Saul's head was placed in a temple of Dagon (I Chron. 10:10). Samson destroyed the temple of Dagon in Gaza (Judg. 16:30). "

looks like we're both right.

2003-08-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked" (Airplane)

So I blocked this guy named "Joe" from commenting... I wouldn't have done it, but frankly it was just getting ridiculous.

Went tonight and sat in the hot tub. Nothing like a nice dip to rekindle my testicular fortitude. Sometimes you need a nice swim like that when your testicular fortitude meter is way down, just to build it back up. We went to Six Flags Magic Mountain yesterday for the 4th time this summer. It was, as the Northern Californians would call, "hella crouded." We went on the ride X and it made me feel like I was giving birth to a 14 Lb watermelon. The women who experienced that ride described a strong desire to gain overian fortitude... they said it was like getting struck in a felopian tube with a sharp, pointy rock... whatever that means. I'm going to be heading up to Provo for school in a little while... a little scared... a little cold... a couple wolves after me.

My friend Lauren was asking why we don't make fun of the Lutherans around here. Unfortunately I think I only know one Lutheran... so I can create a steriotype from her that all Lutheran are hot, skanky, whores... almost the same as Mormons... only we aren't as prone to hammer thesis' on Chapel doors... I'm not really into thesis' anyways. Amen.

2003-08-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in cage." Howbeit a big cage...

I will be free soon of my current cage, seeing as I am going to be heading up to "Mormon Country USA," where I will be put into a different cage. But still a change is good. I was talking to one of my buddies who's out in Virginia today, I will probably have the opportunity to go to Athens, Greece in the summer of 2004 and work at the olympics. Get this: 17 bucks an hour and they pay for my flights and my room. And I don't even have to kill anyone for it... not that I wasn't willing to... So I thought that was pretty cool and that I would write about it here in my handy-dandy Blog. I will be studying MIS (Management Information Systems) and hopefully I will have my masters in 3 - 4 years. My over-all goal, after consulting with a few people, is to become Allen Greenspan the most powerful man in the world. From there, through fraud and extortion, I will take over the world. Unfortunately that will probably lead to the untimely demise of any and/or all of you who are now reading this blog which contains my devious plans. But don't you worry, I will create a Utopian society where everything is made completely out of leather... cost efficient, sturd, and besides... my friend Reid looks absolutely great in leather pants.

2003-08-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

I guess my new post will be a call to arms. Everyone pick a side and we'll Ji-had like its 1069. It will be great. The Crusades were an interesting part of history... I found myself reading about them recently.

"The idea of the crusade corresponds to a political conception which was realized in Christendom only from the eleventh to the fifteenth century; this supposes a union of all peoples and sovereigns under the direction of the popes. All crusades were announced by preaching. After pronouncing a solemn vow, each warrior received a cross from the hands of the pope or his legates, and was thenceforth considered a soldier of the Church. Crusaders were also granted indulgences and temporal privileges, such as exemption from civil jurisdiction, inviolability of persons or lands, etc."
(http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04543c.htm)

I don't know if this has any relevance to anything we are talking about here on the blog... I struggle to keep up with everything. But it was definately an interesting read... or I thought so. Seeing the Iraq thing, surely other wars in the future... just goes to show there have always been wars there, are now wars, and will yet be wars. I'm just glad that I'm not a Jew like Billy, because I'm sure when the next one comes around they are going to get it again. Just a repeated pattern.

But man, what the deal with cancer?

2003-08-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

I can see that my previous blog has caused a lot of... disturbances within the blog community... I wont hesitate to say that I think it's absolutely hilarious. I'm thinking that the probable cause of the uproar was the red lettering. And perhaps the big picture of John Paul with his arms outspread and the insinuation that God wasn't in Rome... etc... didn't help out matters. But I think mostly it's because the text was in red... color of passion. So to calm things down, I'm going to go to blue... there, doesn't that feel nice... relaxed, and calm. I figured to start a new alliance with our catholic buddies, both foreign and domestic... of course, I wont apoligize for my pope comments and pictures because I esteem them as funny. But let's you and I find a common enemy... say... Baptist. I mean, they don't even have a leg to stand on. Having lived in Viginia for the last couple of years I've seen some pretty amazing things... perhaps it's modern religion, perhaps it's just the South... but there is a lot of corruption and a lot of money that goes into religion these days. The last time I checked there were 83,000 different christian churches and 172 different versions of the english bible. Our friend George who made the comment that our friend Joe, who is studying "religion and philosophy from and over-priced university," was "[not] going to get you far in life" is perhaps a bit off. I believe Joe will graduate and become a leader of, perhaps the 83,001 christian church in America. All he has to do is go to some lower-income community and herd the people in... twist the bible, etc, and tell the people that their problems will go away if they reach into their wallet and give their money to "God." Of course... it wont always be good... someday someone will see him and and one of the deacons wife driving away in a brand new Lexus... he'll have to leave amidst the scorn of Adultry and start over somewhere else... but, all in all, religion is big money.

Oh, "these Mormon kids are pretty f*^%ing stupid" requires some attention. I beg to differ, and any student of religion and philosophy from and over-priced university should know this. Consider it a free lesson from me. Now if you were only refering to the "mormons" on this site and not to "mormons" in general, I'm sorry. Mormons in general are some of the most highly educated, self-sufficient, and notable members of society. They are overly represented in both local and national government and hold positions and have leadership in some of the most renouned international businesses in the world. Look it up in your "over-priced university library." Making a "blanket" statement such as that is not one that a student of philosophy should do. I study currently at a low-priced university, and I can say with confidence that God hates you...
Actually I was just kidding with that one... Well... see ya later.

2003-07-31T23:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when you reach the end of a nice long day it feels good to just sit back and reflect on all of the things that have happened in the last few days. For instance:

The other day we were at Magic Mountain. Well... things turned around and around... things happen... and let's just say that keys were lost and transportation home became somewhat of a problem. Now, I view myself as a good person... and I think that my family is pretty good all the way around. So I'm forced to ask myself, "Why do bad things happen to good people."

Why does God allow these things to happen. I just feel so confused sometimes... like... when we were going to the lost and found, a tall associate said, "If there is a God, our keys will be in there." Unfortunately, the keys were not found... I found myself thinking, "If there is a God, where is he? And what has he done with our keys?" I think, maybe our keys got lost because He's in Rome, and that's like 6000 miles away. But to cut a long story short, we found our way home and ate at In-and-Out... so obviously God can move at an incredibly fast rate enabling him to be everywhere at once... kinda like Superman... only better, or else he's not really in Rome at all... come on... think about it, where would you rather be... in Rome or in California ?

2003-07-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

While in the midst of trouble and difficulty, it in some cases becomes paramount that we invest in ourselves. I find that through the journeys of life, thick and thin, there is always some dark cloud over-hanging all that is beautiful, all that is esteemed as "good." Trudging through the deep snows of apathy, drifts upon drifts of meloncholy, heaping in an insermountable pile of shlock. We, as human beings have the right, yeah, even the responsibility to stand up and say... "The world... is Shlock!." Scream it at the top of your lungs, at that dark, taunting, mid-night sky. "I own you world, your pitiful Shlock can't have me!" As emphasized in the ever so classic Beatles song we must shout out, "I am the Eggman. We are the Walrus. Gook-Gook-Ga-Chew, Gook-Gook-Ga-Chew!" While a catch phraseto to the untrained American ear, to a native Brit it means... "I'm here world. I've got your number. Shlock is what you are, and Shlock is what you'll be... And one of these days this Shlock is gonna walk all over you!" ...Advise you say? In a world full of Shlock, advise comes bountifully, but benificial advise is where the shlock adjust and becomes a useful, hard-working, loyal citizen... and this is the advise he(the hard working, loyal, citizen) would give you... "Don't let your genious become Shlock. Shlock it, and let your genious become you."

2003-07-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

Being 1/4 Jew... I can't help but feel that there is a very strong anti-semetic feeling drifting around the nation of late. What have the Jews ever done to you? We were just poor lonely farmers and herders searching to please our God (the Only Living and True God, you bunch of slack-jawed heathens). So why this ill feeling? Why is there the slang, "Man, that's jewish?" What does a mans ethnicity have to do with anything? I believe in a land of the free... a land of the brave... where a mans decendants are not detramental to their future. Although shrewd business-men, we are still people. If you prick us do we not bleed? Do we not have feelings? Come on man, have some heart! Have some heart... toss you long-nosed neighbors a freakin' bone every once and a while. I mean... we're loads better than the french... and remember... Jesus was a Jew. And I think that pretty much settles this subject. I will be expecting apologies from each and every person in the world... there is a comment box below... if you please... I will look forward to the apologies in the hope that it will quell the Only Living and True God from exercising his wrath, biblical style, upon you heathen dogs.

2003-07-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

Not trying to indulge in any homoerotic fantasys of any sort. But the beach has got to be a great haven for men of the homosexual orientation. For example, today we we down and chilled at the beach... the male to female ratio was 3:1. Now, judging that all 3 men and the 1 female are all straight... the chances of the males getting a female are 1/3. While the female odds are great... it just ain't doing much for the males. So my idea... now stay with me every one: What if 2 of the males ended up being gay? That would bring the ratios around perfectly. Also... we would be perfectly "politically correct." We would have our token "woman," and our token "gay" man. I know what you are thinking... who's gonna be gay... whos gonna be stright. But just with any good plan... it's gonna require sacrafice. Hard work, diligence, and sacrifice.

2003-07-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Saddam's offspring being killed is what brings this new blog to life. We all know that the Treaty of Versilxzqle (gay french spelling disables my brain) made after WW1 made assassinations officially... "bad." Making it a war crime... yada yada yada... We all know that everybody is still doing it everywhere... but they have to do it in secret... kinda like the silent helecopters in the movie Conspiracy Theory. But anyways, what is the difference between strategically dropping a bomb on someone to kill him, and sending some dude into shoot someone. I'm not catching a real difference. I haven't had the opportunity to read the treaty but maybe it has to do with the size of the projectile. It's not legal to snipe someone because the bullet is to small... doesn't do enough damage. But if you shoot a 100 ft long bullet from 1000 miles away it is completely applicable because it's big. I figure it's all about sport really. I mean, what chance would saddam have against a really small projectile that you can't even see... he doesn't even have a sporting chance. Now if a cruise missile is coming right for you... your chances are still slightly less than that of a deer, but... heck... at least you got a sporting chance. "Besides, they're more like guidelines anyways." And I'm glad they're dead...

2003-07-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Dude? What's the deal with naked men?

2003-07-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

I made a change to my blog title today. I changed it to "Super #1 Blog in the Entire World" as and opening to my newest entry. And that is: Asian Resturant Names:

Have you ever noticed that Chinesse Food places have some of the most ridiculously absurd names ever. For example: We had a Hogi Yogi (a sandwich chain found on the west coast) which decided that the white-trash market found in Yucaipa just wasn't their style. They move out and and asian couple move in and buy the place. The change the name to Hogi-dough (because like all asians think: "Who doesn't like doughnuts?") I don't know... perhaps it just bugs me. Their was this resturant out in Virginia whos name was "Super Number 1 Chinesse Food Resturant" (I can't remeber if they actually spelled out the word "number" or used a "#"). Now, with a title that long, you better have some freakin' good food. Otherwise thats an obstruction of public well-being. And I'm not about that. Ironically, in the same town there is another resturant titled, "Best Chinesse Food." Now, fellow readers, how is it possible that these two could exist simultaneously? If what they claim is true, i believe the universe would skism, collapse on itself, and create a giant lump of dried poison with which i would choke on. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to visit both of these resturants. "Super Number 1 Chinesse Food" in actuality isn't very super. The prices were crappy (i only get the buffet), lacked selection, and just over-all sucked. Meanwhile the other had very good food at a reasonable rate. Plus... they had a Mongolian BBQ (a sweeping fade in the east). However, I'm not quite sure how the mongols would feel being lumped in with the Chinesse, the Khans are probably rolling over in their ever-so-shallow graves at the smell of their fresh beef, chicken, lamb, pork, fresh vegetables, and special sauces permiating the air of some chinesse resturant like some Boxer Rebellion gone sour. Which leads me to the conclusion that I like Mongolians more than Chinesse, doughnuts are a Chinesse conspiracy, and the length of something doesn't necessarily make it better (which is good when it comes to me and some things *wink *wink).

2003-07-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Remember Return the the Jedi? Remember Jabba? I would just like to call these things to your memory before I begin to expound upon my next Blod entry... and let the Blog commence.:

My Cousins name is Jenea. She's a leader over the Beehives in the Yuc. 3rd Ward. And as such, she is responsible for activities... and on this specific occasion the activity was a hike in the San Jacinto Mts. A 3.8 mile hike to the peak of a mountain where they have a fire look out station (fantastic view). Having a lack of suitable priesthood holders, me and my brother William were invited to attend. Stage set... now to the event:

Me, Jenea, William, and 4, 12 - 13 year old girls begin the assent. 12-15 steps (no exageration) into the climb, one of the girls (remember Jabba) say "Oh... this is sooo steep, is the whole climb going to be like this?" At this point, I knew there was going to be trouble. The other 3 girls are journeying along, having fun, enjoying nature. They are a little bit annoying, but it's cool... they are 12 - 13 yrs old. We stop to take breaks, working at a ridiculously slow pace. Eventually, it gets so ridiculous that i take the 3 other girls and go ahead, while William and Jenea take care of Amber, or the Beast (as we come to call her).So we go ahead on the trail and do our little thing. Its a pretty tough hike. 3.8 miles uphill. Jabba complains the whole time. Ridiculous complaining, like "My arms numb... not pain... but i just cant feel it" or "I cant walk" or "I want to go home" or "The slime from my Jabba-like head is forming a hollow shell around my eyes... I can't see!."

Finally, we get to the top, just about 1/4, or less, miles to the tower. It had taken us 3+ hours to reach this point. We all start walking up as a group. Suddenly... Jabba starts to freak out. Complaining, complaining, complaining... finally... she falls down... big dramatic fall if you can imagine that... Everyone but Jenea goes up to the watchtower to see the view while Jenea and Jabba start back down.

Now... there are 2 ways to the tower. One is a dirt road which the fire people take, and another is the trail which we came up. The road was the back-up plan because Jenea said that it was easier and shorter. So they begin to go down this road... assuming that we can catch up to them with ease seeing as Jabbas mass would be unable to slither down the slope and any rate faster than a 3-toed sloth.

We make it to the tower... great view... the volunteers are great and show us all the cool things. I ask them about the road we are going back down. We pull out a map and come to find out... the road is 6 miles long, and that puts you out on the highway (not by the trail head), and it's another 5 miles up the highway to the trail head. So we figure that we will go down the trail we came up, the 3.8 mile way at an accelerated pace (seeing as we dont have Jabba), get to the car, drive up the road and meet them there... and we do just that.

But... as Jenea was coming down the mountain (this is back when we are still at the tower), Jabba freaks out... falls to the ground... and refuses to move. Jenea, seeing the bast alternative is to leave her there by herself to wait the couple minutes until we come down, while she gets a head start down what she supposes is a 3 mile or so road to the cars (actually an 11 mile road). Then when she got the car, she would come back up to us, reunited with Jabba, and slowly meandering down the road. Good plan... and would have worked except for Jabba moves from the assigned intersection spot so we do not meet, and we assume that she is with Jenea, while she assumes she is with us.

I would like to interject in the story and point out that I have learned today that it is never a good idea to leave a fat, retard alone in the woods. Don't mix. And now... Blog returns:

Jeana makes it to the bottom of the road and there is a fire truck there. The fire-man asks her if she knows anything about a dehydrated girl. She say, "No, there were a couple of guys up there, they might know something, I'm going to pick up my car real quick... the rest of my group is coming down, and there is 4 girls with them... but i'm going to get my car." Well... when EMS gets a call they have to respond... so they go up.

Meanwhile... we arrive at the cars. William gets in and goes up the road, while i stay and watch the rest of them... real responsible-like and whatnot. Next thing i know... they are flying back... but no Jabba. So we pile into the 2 cars and speed back there... we pass EMS, Fire truck... the works on the way. We go up the dirt road, it takes about 25 minutes, get to the end, and find Jabba in an ambulance. She looks like crap. Evidently she had gone 1.5 miles down the road where she vomitted all over herself and layed down on the road, not unconsciece, mind you, but just laying there. Some ranger spots her on the way down and calls 911. Everytime they try to give her an IV, to give her some fluid, she says "Ouch... no... my leg hurts. Ouch, my leg hurts." Keeping in mind that IVs go in your arm. They cant give her an IV. The EMS dudes are asking us if she lives in a group home... is insane... yada yada yada. Finally, they just decide to take her to the ER and get her checked out (they have to do that to cover their A's from a lawsuit). Jenea hops into the ambulance, i drive her car, and we follow the ambulance down...

Come to find out. The girls on 3 different types of medication for bi-polar disorder and shes had a history of seizures. Not to mention, one of the medications a side-effect of making you extremely dehydrated. All of which information would have been useful BEFORE THE HIKE!

So... go down... give her a blessing. Her mom turns out to be a freak too... we leave as she is getting a CAT Scan and is getting transfered to another hospital. Come home and take a shower. And eat a nice meal from Wendy's. Amen.

2003-07-17T01:31:00.000-07:00

I enjoy a good movie every once in a while... something to... pass the time if you will. But everyday, movie madness. I no longer live in the realm of the mortals. TV land is my paradise and my prison. I remember once thinking, "If I can get to the point where I can sleep 12 hours a day, I will only have to live half as long." I had a good point... but my juvenille skills in mathematics did not take into account that the average person may sleep 7-8 hours... so, in fact, I am only living approx. 1/3 less than that of the populous. But the populous is a mass of freaking idiots so what does McIntosh care of "social pressure." Have they not molded me... have they not tempered, sculpted my pretty round little head to match the mold. And is not this freakish, redneck, town good for what its cracked up to be. I'm just bitter... depressed, melodramatic...

Speaking of which... what is up with the drama kids in school (its been a while since High School but come on!). I can still remember there freakish faces staring at me from the the 7th level of hell... yes... thank you Mr. Dante', I'll be in Purgatory.

Now that is a place that describes my current predicament. Yucaipa, awaiting my eternal punishment or reward. Maybe I can go to Hawaii. That was the original plan, the masterpiece, if you will. But we all see what time does to art. Look at the freakin Mona Lisa... Ugly as sin. And its because she's old. Swavy?