I was trying to explain to this girl tonight why I wont ask a girl out unless I know for sure that she is at least a little bit interested and that she will say yes... I explained that it was because I don't want to be "one of those guys..." I don't think that she quite understood this, so I commenced to explain:
I'm pretty good friends with a bunch of girls who are completely confident acting usual around me and do not feel abashed at asking me questions. Some of them get asked out quite often. Anyways, I have been around several times that a girl has gotten off the phone with some boy that she barely knows who has asked her out... of course, because there is some ridiculous "mormon theory" that says that a girl has to say yes to at least one date, she says yes... but the minute that she gets off the phone she commences complaining or ploting about how she wants to get out of it. Most likely she still feels an strong sense of confidence and self-esteem at being so highly desired, yet also feels deep loathing for the boy that put her into this situation.
Now, I may be wrong. But I don't believe that this guy has a chance to begin with. The girl has already made up in her mind that it's "just not going to work." No matter how smooth he is, it wont work. This is because: No matter what a boy that she likes does, it is cute, or soooo nice. But whatever a boy that she doesn't like does, it's cheesy or just anoying.
Anyways, I don't want to be "one of those guys." I don't want to be on the other side of the phone of some girl who is just trying to fulfil her mother's wish to "always say yes to one date." In case you haven't noticed I think that the "one date" practice is ridiculous.
My next point. My bishop at the beginning of this semester tried to commit me to date at least once a week. Of course, I told him no. I figured that it would be better not to accept a commitment from the bishop then to accept one and then not keep it. But anyways, it has come to me in various forms that I should boys should ask girls out in the ward because some of them don't get asked out that often and it makes them feel better about themselves. Of course, I think this is ridiculous. Unless I am interested in them, the date would just be lame and akward. I don't want to be selfish about the whole think (well... maybe I do...) but what exactly would I get out of this? I mean, the girl get to do something for free, eat for free, gets a booster shot of self-esteem to last her till the next passing victim that she can leech upon. What is it exactly that I am looking forward to here? And wouldn't it just be leading the girl on?
Lets face it, with most people I can tell pretty much off the bat what kind of person they are. I accept the fact that I am most probably wrong in almost all of these flash judgments, but that is beside the point. I make these judgments with guys and girls. I think that I have created these different categories in my mind cause I'm pretty sure that almost all people fit into 6 or 7 different categories (maybe I will discuss this later). I just categorize these people. Some of these categories are "Do not touch," "Datables," "Like me," etc. I am very unlikely to change my minde about someone. This wrong, I know. Yada yada yada... but it happens.
But anyways, I don't want to be a "shmuck." Sometimes I look at guys and I'm like, "If I ever do any thing (or think like) that, someone please shoot me in the face." These guys that will just walk up to a random girl and ask her out. These weird kids that get up on the "soap box" and talk about shear nonsense. People stuck in the middle ages, wearing cloaks and swords (don't get me wrong, I like the middle-ages, but there is a time and a place for everything). I really just don't want to be "one of those guys."
